One cup of tea DISCONTINUED
by TCBN
Summary: Kenny makes a wish. He wished for a life more interesting. He plummets into a world starkly different from his own. Stan is an alcoholic, Kyle is an Emo, Cartman is a nice kid weighing 50 kilos and Kenny (apparently) is a drug seller/user. Straight Pairings. discontinued
1. Prologue

Kenny looked at the teapot his grandmother gave him. It wasn't the kind where a genie came from. It was the kind where one made tea. His grandmother said something about making wishes.

"This is a really stupid idea" Kenny rolled his eyes, pouring himself a cup of tea

"Kenny, can I have some tea, too, please?" Karen asked, sitting on a stool

"It makes one cup each" Kenny answered, stirring the tea in his chipped cup, "after me"

"Okay" Karen jumped off her stool, watched as Kenny skulled his tea that scalded his throat. Kenny smacked the cup down on the counter, cringing as he burnt himself. He silently made a wish, just to tease his grandmother about the stupidity of wishes. Suddenly, he felt the need to lie down. Slowly he sat on the floor and blacked out, unmoving to Karen's frantic screaming.

**_A.N: On high request by pm, I have conjured a story involving various elements that I have been asked to include. As this is an alternative universe, you are allowed to ask me to write in any of your suggestions for what can happen in the plot._**


	2. Chapter 2

Kenny slowly opened his eyes and stared at a yellowish light that looked down upon him from the ceiling. Head pulsing as if he had a hangover, he groaned as he sat up.

"Kenny?" Cartman's voice sounded, "Are you okay, Kenny? Would you like me to get my mom for you?"

Kenny blinked at the closed door shutting him into a bathroom.

"I'm fine, Cartman" Kenny said, standing up

"It's just that I heard a scream and absolute silence for about a minute" Cartman said, opening the door. Kenny nearly did scream and fall flat on his face. Cartman looked like a normal kid, broad shoulders, skinny arms and a very angular face that belonged to someone only fifty kilos heavy.

"Dude" Cartman blinked, "You look as if you've seen an apparition"

"Dude" Kenny stared at his fat-less stomach, "I think I banged my head"

"I have a feeling you did!" Cartman laughed

"Aw man" Kenny followed Cartman downstairs, into what he soon learnt was Cartrman's house.

"Hi, poopsikins!" his mother trilled, her belly the size of Sheila's, "How about an apple before you leave the house?"

"Not hungry, thank you, mom" Cartman shrugged two shoulder blades that jutted out like wings.

"I gotta go, dude" Kenny fled, bursting through the front door, into the biting cold air, through the streets.

Kenny frantically knocked on Stan's door. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or say.

"Stan!" Kenny cried, "Open the door!"

"You do it" Stan said, voice flat

"Okay" Kenny slowly unlatched the door, nearly falling over due to the stench of booze coming out of Stan's pores, standing there looking tired.

"I don't want any drugs, Kenny" Stan was about to close the door

"I didn't and never have touched drugs" Kenny deadpanned

"Right" Stan rolled his eyes, "get high somewhere else"

"How long was Cartman skinny for?" Kenny asked, "Why do you have a beard?"

"Fuck" Stan yanked the door open, "I don't know, Kenny! Maybe the Roofies you've been wanking off has been making you dumber!"

"I date ra- spike myself?" Kenny stared

"Yes. Dude, you spike yourself" Stan stared back, "you're forgetting what you're even doing"

"Okay if I'm so damn stupid" Kenny wobbled for effect, "Where's Kyle?"

"Who?" Stan stared, "Who is Kyle? Is that a word for a drug?"

"Don't be stupid! Your best friend!" Kenny laughed

"Cartman's my best friend" Stan shoved Kenny, "Jesus, you're high as fuck! Inventing names!"

"What about Wendy?" Kenny pressed

"Ew, you want to get with a skank?" Stan gagged, "She gyrates anything that remotely looks like a dick"

"Your girlfriend!" Kenny waved a hand in his face, "dude!"

"Kenny" Stan looked tired, "Tell your drug dealer to give you non-memory loss pills" with that he slammed the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Kebby stared at a chubby girl reading the back of a book, face crumpled with concentration. "What are you staring at, conformist?" she snapped, catching Kenny's sight "Uh what are you doing in Kyle's yard?" Kenny asked "Returning this book?" Henrietta snorted, holding up a book, labeled how to cope with unnecessarily dark thoughts "You're a Goth?" Kenny stared, "aren't you?" "I thought Israel was a Goth" Henrietta sighed, "Saw this fall out his bag. Clearly he is someone entirely different" Kenny gawped, "did you say Israel?" "What? You're going to pick on his nick name, now?" Henrietta scowled "I" Kenny slowly realized who Israel was, "need to speak with Israel" "Well, go phone the president, I can't help you" Henrietta was about to walk off when Kenny snatched the book from her, "I'll do it" Kenny walked inside, to Kyle's room. Book under his arm, he sucked in a gasp of air and knocked on the door. The door flew open; a boy with black dyed hair and dark makeup stared at him. "Do you have the acid?" he whispered, looking around I run a drug cartel Kenny thought "I don't have any" Kenny shook his head, "and I'm not selling drugs to you anymore" "I need it!" Kyle pressed, "You always find the best stuff! I need it to escape my head, my life!" "Well, I think it's better if you handle it yourself" Kenny sighed, holding up the book, "Henrietta saw this" "Oh shit!" Kyle went white, taking the book "she's going to banish me!" "It's ok to feel upset about yourself" Kenny explained "I'm supposed to be a Goth!" Kyle seethed, "Goths hate the world. Not themselves" "Wait, that's the difference between Emos and Goths?" Kenny stared "Kenny, I need one more dose of acid" Kyle whispered, "One big good dose and you won't have to sell to me again, please" "What do you plan to do with one good big dose?" Kenny said, only to jump at the realization, "Don't do anything" "I can't do it without acid, Kenny" Kyle pleaded, slender shoulders shaking "Well, don't do it!" Kenny snapped, annoyed "I don't think you get it" Kyle said, slowly closing the door Kenny stared at the closed door. Something about his friends was strange. It all happened after that sip of tea. He wasn't sure what the tea had to do with anything after a while's thought. Kenny had once called his life too vanilla or bland…. 


	4. Chapter 4

Cartman munched loudly on a carrot, sitting in the school cafeteria. Stan and he were staring open mouthed at Kenny.

re from another universe?Yeah, Kyles all fat and meanMe?Fat?Dude has anorexiathat would be hilarious! Cartman? Fat!?Yephe

**Cartman stared, m surprised no one has killed that person yet**ActuallyHmNever thought me and Kyle would ever be friendsStan, the reason no one wants to be your friend is because you push everyone away so muchYou

**re so out of character**You going to eat that?s lap

**Stan pointed at her stomach that bulged **

**Wendy snapped, swatting his hand and walking off**Did you just-Seriously, she can** Stan snapped **

**Kenny laughed **

**Stan gagged **

**Dear avid readers and salivating fans. **

**Unfortunately I have decided to discontinue this story. I feel that (despite that this is the whole point of the story) the characters are WAY out of character (DUH) and also Ive happened (this is later in the fiction so there**Shit!s dead body,

**Kyle ran over, tremors of fear pulsing through his blood. This wasn**Kenny said we could be friendsand he

**He ran outside, onto the road and flipped off an angry set of headlights, horn blaring. Expecting his brains to get smashed in the wheels, he felt two hands shove him out the way. Kyle slowly stood up, staring at a bloody smeared corpse on the road, the remains of Kenny. **

**Kyle croaked, tears welling down his face.**


End file.
